The Buffalo Bills traveled out to Hollywood last Sunday, performing just after The Bills Backers of Los Angeles put on a spectacular sold out show at the famed Shrine Auditorium, which used to host the Oscars.
While the game may not be enshrined in the Hollywood Walk of Fame or the Football Hall of Fame, the big winners were the Buffalo Bills who defamed the L.A. Rams, 30-19.
Nickell Robey-Coleman was the surprise pick as Best Actor in a Supporting Role. The USC grad’s homecoming pick six turned the game around and Nickell was named AFC Defensive Player of the Week. The second week in a row it was a Bill.
Robey-Coleman also took home the Best Sound statue when his perfect timing and abrupt touchdown ignited the raucous Bills fans in attendance who dominated the L.A. Coliseum. The explosion and pyrotechnics seemed like special FX. The famed Olympic stadium, which also serves as a dump, came across like a Bills home game all afternoon.
Best Supporting Role could easily have been won by the also nominated Lorax, who had a monster game with three sax plus a tipped pass, tackles for loss, a vicious slobberknocker on a ST play, and nearly a fourth sack on Robey-Coleman’s second INT. It has been an amazing string of Oscar-worthy performances by the previous understudy Alexander. Finally given a chance to shine, Lorenzo Lamas has gone from bit player to Hollywood hunk.
Character actor Kyle Williams is all the way back and put on a sterling performance. Newcomer Aldophus Washington had his first chance on the big stage and engulfed Case Keenum. Leading man (if sometimes bad actor) Jerry Hughes was all over the field. The Brown Brothers are The Coen Brothers, churning out big hit after big hit.
While Hollywood is often lady gaga over glamorous pretty boys, the audience also loves fat guys, and Rex and Rob Ryan have brought this defense back and won Best Choreography. Rob coaches the red zone defense and linebackers, which have shown remarkable improvement in a very short time. Bills players gush about Rob’s coaching.
Best Director honors surprisingly went to unheralded Dennis Thurman who has been calling plays and dialing up stops when they need them. As soon as Thurman yells, “And… action!” the Bills defenders have been hitting their marks and nailing their lines, save a few missed notes and ad-libs from normally reliable stalwarts, Stephon Gilmore and Aaron Williams.
With the game on the line just after we cut to the chase, the defense made the big stop and final climatic stand, and went home victorious with the Golden Globe for best ensemble in a dramatic defensive series.
On offense, Shady went Hollywood and won the coveted Best Actor award. Nothing was as it seemed as he pranced and danced like Fred Astaire. McCoy was a surprise two time-winner, also taking home the Best Editing Oscar, making Ram defenders right in front of him seemingly disappear.
Tyrod Taylor showed you don’t have to have gaudy stats to put on a show and hosted a solid offensive performance. No one makes the play Taylor made to pull off a heist movie avoiding Ram defenders and scrambling before he, just in the nick of time, hit newcomer Justin Hunter in the back of the endzone.
TT nearly won Best Comedy for the blooper reel lining up behind Ritchie Incognito instead of center Eric “Bad Santa”Wood. Hilarity ensued, unless you are a Bills fan. TMobile stepped up and made up for his mistake with an award winning dance number for 19 yards and a first down.
Charles Clay didn’t win his Best Supporting role nomination but continued his solid, unspectacular contributions. Dizzy Gillislee’s uncredited cameo produced an easy 8 yard score on a Taylor made option.
The offensive line often goes unnoticed unless they make a comedy of errors. John Miller continues to shine and gave a virtuoso performance against matinee idol Aaron Donald. Jordan Mills was sneaky clever in his straight man role. The Son of Anarchy, Ritchie Incognito, had a rough outing, picking up so many penalties the city of Charming’s police department was sent racing to the game.
But the big winners on Oscar Night were the Bills fans who packed Busby’s all week, put on the sold out show of shows at the Shrine before the game with 3500 strong, and with several Bills players as Gladiators, took over the Coliseum on game day.
This week becomes a must win as the Colin Kaepernick led San Francisco 49ers come to The Lid in Buffalo. Kaep will need a colonoscopy when the Bills knock the crap out of his vegan ass.
So come on down to the madhouse on Santa Monica as the suddenly surging Bills stampede tramples their next prey.
It promises to be another Oscar winner.
By Pete Rosen