The Buffalo Bills, individually and collectively, have been playing the patsy while playing the New England Patsies for as long as we can remember, and did it again last Sunday at The Lid, losing 41-25.
Unfortunately, the Evil Empire is alive again and thriving now that Tom “Whiny Baby” Brady is back behind center. Buffalo-killer Brady murdered the Bills again, point blank, in plain sight, with his sharpshooter accuracy, Evil Genius Coach, and superdoofus Rob Gronkcheektowaga. When Brady is on his game like he is now, The Great White Buffalo Hunt is deadly.
And perhaps we better check the standings because, in true patsy fashion, our lovable/loathsome losers lost two games in one, as The Bills continue to beat themselves.
That stated, the injuries to this team have gone from infuriating to laughable. The all white Bills throwback jerseys may as well have been open in the back as hospital gowns.
Counting Watkins, Woods, Goodwin, Salas, Tate, Easley, Listenbee, and even briefly Powell, the Bills were down to their 9th, 10th and 11th WR. And missing their top RB, and top two TEs. During the game, both backup RBs got wounded.
The Bills top defensive player this season, Lorenzo Alexander, was banged up early in the game on special teams and was shelved for the rest of it. The Lorax, who was named AFC Defensive Player of the month today, was not only very sore but sorely missed.
Safety Aaron Williams missed the entire Patsie game after being assaulted from behind by the Fins Jarvis Douchenozzle the previous Sunday. AW was put on IR and lost for the season this week. And no maybe done for his career all due to a cheap shot by a clown stick. The league needs to clamp down on blatant thuggery like that.
In place of Williams comes Percy Harvin, who was talked out of retirement in the last two weeks after Jim Overdorf threw up a trial balloon. Harvin had been keeping tabs on Bills players and seems rejuvenated after off season knee surgery and a year to rest his body and clear his muddled muttonhead. Percy’s playmaking ability, however, is sorely needed as we wait for Sammy Watkins to return.
Injuries are no excuse but they are facts.
Backup RB Mike Gillislee is very good and played very well against the Cheatriots but Shady McCoy is a completely different animal and teams defense the Bills differently when Shady is in. The Bills gained yards on the ground but with McCoy healthy they controlled the clock and game.
Tyrod Taylor is a completely unique player and has recently become the patsy for a lot of Bills fans. TT continues to both miss passes he cannot miss and make plays no one else makes. But he has become the most energizing player as well as the most polarizing. We are quickly becoming in danger of an RJ v Flutie split amongst the local and digital fandom.
IMO, Tyrod is not great but he is blamed too much for the blow-its, therefore the patsy, and not given enough credit for the heroics. Our OL is just not that good in pass protection. His escapability and avoiding sacks is so routine we tend to forget that it is simultaneously Houdinian.
The Rex Ryan defense, engineered by Dennis Thurman, has played the patsy for two weeks in a row, and basically could not stop a stopwatch.
Chick-fil-a beat Stephon Killmore on 3-4 separate occasions. Gilmore is quickly becoming another perfect patsy for Bills fans and the team’s woes and woe-is-me’s. He’s nowhere near as bad as a lot of fans make him out to be and nowhere near as good as he needs to be or can be. Gilmore going to get paid this off season but probably not by the Bills.
The $100m man-child, Marcel Dareus, returned and was a factor against the Patsies but not a difference maker. He came into the game with a lingering hamstring injury and left it with a new groin injury. He’s limited in practice this week and the Ills are now going into the ninth week without their vital cog in the defensive front.
The New England Patsies right now are the best team in the league and that game is behind the Bills, who go into the second half of the season at 4-4. It will likely take a 6-2 finish to reach the playoffs, which makes this week’s Go West Young Man trip to Seattle their manifest destiny.
The Seahags are banged up themselves although can still put the hurt on you and will try to make the Bills their own patsy.
Not to mention it’s Monday Night Football and the day before the National Embarrassment, er, Election.
So come on down to the madhouse on Santa Monica for some MNF, Labatt Blues, free wings at the half, and to watch the resurgent Bills make Patsies of someone else for a night.
By Pete Rosen