The Buffalo Bills, seemingly left for dead after an 0-2 start to the season, rose from the ashes by burying the visiting Arizona Cardinals 33-18 last Sunday. It wasn’t even that close.
The team and its beleaguered fat, frat brothers coaches, were rexerrected.
The Ryan defense held all the Cards, especially their best ones, Larry Fitzgerald, David Johnson and Carson Palmer. The potent Bruce Arians led offense started the game with four straight three-and-outs, for zero yards, and ended the game with four straight picks.
Good ol’ Kyle Williams was the good, old, Kyle Williams all game long. Jerry Hughes has been a terror all year, second in the league in pressures. He had six pressures and one decapitation of Carson Palmer in this one. We just have to live with the penalties from Hughes, he’s just too good.
The Bills sacked Palmer five times and befuddled him all afternoon. Rex came up with a brilliant game plan, often only playing one DT, Kyle, and four safeties, in what was essentially a 1-4-6 or even 1-3-7 defense. The Cardinals never caught on or caught up.
The no-relation Brown Brothers, Zach and Preston, have been a revelation all season, and another Rexerrection. They are both near the top of the league on the analytics websites and it’s just as clear on the turf how well they are playing.
But the real stars of the defense were in the backfield. Previously Unhappy Gilmore was all smiles after the game following two interceptions, one a spectacular diving catch that he didn’t even seem to believe he made when he caught it. Corey White, filling in for injured Ron Darby, iced the game with his own fourth quarter pick. Aaron Williams was back to his old solid self, and Corey Graham has been another Rexerrection with renewed enthusiasm and stellar ball skills.
The Ryan Brothers, at least for one week, staved off a trip to the Fat Farm when the vultures started circling Orchard Park last week after the embarrassing loss to Six-Pick Fitz and the Jets. And the Bills defensive players, who reportedly have to do laps around Rob and Rex whenever they jump offsides or make mistakes in practice, called “lap bands,” have renewed confidence and swagger going into this weeks game against the Cheaters.
On offense, Shady McCoy threw a lot of shade at a tough Cardinal defense, running a simplified Anthony Lynn offense, and ripping off huge chunks of prime real estate behind recently re-signed fullback Jerome Felton. And the Cards surely felt ‘im. Shady looked reborn, shaking and baking for over 100 yards and two scores.
The offensive line also looked rejuvenated, especially sophomore Jon Miller who has quietly been dominating in his second season. Thought-to-be bust, Cyrus Kujo, may not be getting a bust made in Canton yet, but his resurgence is noteworthy and he handled tough assignment Chandler Jones admirably while filling in for Cordy Glenn at LT.
New OC Anthony Lynn allowed the Bills franchise-auditioning QB, Tyrod Taylor, to do what he does best right now, make people miss while running. TMobile set a franchise record for a QB with a 49 yard gallop as well as a nifty, thrifty, swifty keeper into the endzone.
TT completed just enough passes to keep the offense moving despite not having Sammy Watkins and a one-legged, Charles Feet-of Clay. Robert Woods hauled in five passes and really laid the woods to AZ defenders with several crushing blocks.
Walt Powell waltzed around Cardinal defenders on several well-run patterns and looks to have made Reggie Bush expendable, especially after a strong performance by Brandon Tate on returns. Who knew it was even legal to have a 31 yard punt return without a penalty?
But the real question is if this Rexerrection is just fleeting and everything will come crashing to the earth again come Sunday against the hated Patriots, a surprising 3-0 without Tommy Boy. Of course, it’s tough to beat any team with the actual Devil on their side. The Pats will be without their lead cheater/cheerleader, Tom Brady, facing the final game of his suspension for being a lying toddler bitch.
Jeanine Garappolo is suffering from a boo-boo on his throwing shoulder, and Jacqueline Brissett hurt his pinky or thumb on his throwing hand, not that he threw the ball over 10 yards anyway. The Devil may be down to using known Nazi, Julian Edelman, at QB, something he hasn’t played since his days whining at Kent State. The best part, for the Bills, about having Edelman play quarterback would be he won’t be playing WR as much.
This game, in a nutshell, may be the Bills season. 1-3 and 0-3 in the AFC may be a grave too big to dig out of. Of course the team, because they are the Bills, would somehow pull off a couple of improbable victories, get mathematically back in the playoff hunt, and then lose out on some obscure tiebreaker.
But a win against the Pats this Sunday, would be a genuine rebirth, and breathe new life into this franchise and season. So come on down to Busbys on the Sabbath for a true revival meeting. A genuine Rexerrection.
Maybe even a woody.
by Pete Rosen