At the start of the ever-surprising 2011 season, most Buffalo fans hoped this rendition was not the same ol’ shame ol’ sham of a team. When the Bills exploded out of the tunnel with a couple unforeseen comebacks and the shocker over the Patsies, the bandwagoners banded and the naysayers said, “Yay!”
This was a new year, new direction, new team.
Oops, we did it again!
We got our hopes up over our eyes and got blinded before being blindsided. Injuries again piled up and crippled the team. Boneheaded plays replaced the newfound precision. And as the weaks went by and the year went bye-bye, we realized, “Oooops, they did it again!” Everything new is old again.
Nothing has changed.
Enter Revis and Butthead.
Steve Johnson, who has a second career in rap music outside of football, again tried on his acting chops in the endzone after scoring a 5 yard TD against Darrell Revis which put the Bills up 14-7 late in the first half. Johnson re-enacted a Jet crashing to the ground after pantomiming Jet WR Plaxexcon Burress shooting himself in the leg.
But SJ shot himself in the foot, getting a 15 yard taunting penalty. It forced the Bills to kick off from their 20, substitute kicker Dave Raynor screwed the pooch kick, the Jets got a lucky bounce and instantly the game was tied.
Ooops, he did it again. Last year’s falling to the ground after hitting paydirt against the Patsies got SJ a $10K fine from the NFL. His “Why So Serious?” uniform alteration against the Bengirls got him another $5K fine. This year’s “Why So Stupid?” penalty cost Johnson another $10K and helped cost the Bills the game.
Ooops, he did it again, and again. Johnson’s folly was a crying shame as he mostly had a stellar game. Revis Island looked Lost. SJ got repeatedly open by a yard against the human fly-pattern fly-paper, and Ryan Fitzpatrick repeatedly hit him right on the numbers. SJ caught 8 passes for 75 yards and a TD against the NFL’s best CB.
It should have been 9-10.
Unfortunately, Fitz drew a play up in the huddle the Bills had never even practiced before, and drilled the ball right into SJ’s hands on a crossing pattern late in the game. SJ had undressed Revis again on the play and likely would have scored the game-winner. But he dropped it right in his hands.
Ooops, he did it again, like last year against the Steelers. The play likely cost SJ a couple million dollars as a 9 catch, 100 yard, 2 TD game-winning performance against Revis would have catapulted SJ back up in the Free Agent ranks. Now it’s more of a scarlet letter.
Perhaps Johnson should have reverse-tebowed and blamed God again for the miss, as for bad measure, another game winning pass passed through SJ’s two hands in the endzone in the same series. Granted, Fitzy misfired by a foot or so, too, on a tough pass on the run.
It must be considered a total loss for the team when Plaxexcon Burress takes the high road against you. SJ had to apologize to Burress after the game and PB was the bigger man.
Lost in the heartache of the head-scratching game was the return of the Bills offense. Ryan Fitzmagic regained his accuracy and sorcery over defenses, throwing for 3 TDs and 0 INTs.
CJ Spiller added a few good looks and even a couple good plays, even without getting holes from the makeshift OL. Brad Smith made a miraculous TD reception against his former mates and had a terrific overall game in his first real start as a receiver. Smith received well-earned praise as well as another start this week from Coach Gailey.
Chain Gailey regained his form and formula for moving the chains. And Kraig Urbik even proved to be able to snap the ball to the QB in his first start at C.
On defense, Drayton Florence had his consistently erratic game, making a nice INT but dropping another right in his hands he may have taken to the house. Ooops! He did it again. Rookies Aaron Williams and Justin Rogers actually made plays on the ball when they were in the air, unlike their predecessors. The Bills forced at least 3 3-and-outs.
The defense had some plays and has some talent but again got crunched at crunch time. And The George Edwards watch may now have a ticking clock.
For the dog-ass Jets, Aaron Mayhavebin, who showed no sack with the Bills, had 2 sacks against his former team he stole millions from, and now has 5 for the season, more than any Bill. It’s a true crime.
Perhaps a crime of passion. Mayhavebin had 6 quarterback hits, 2 sacks and made a great play on a screen pass according to Wrecks Ryan, who thinks Maybin plays with his hair on fire. Bills fans may set their hair on fire if this keeps up. Especially for the dog-ass Jets.
Dirty Sanchez had the ugliest 4 TD passing game of anyone’s career, and tried to lose, but the Bills just wouldn’t let him on the hook. For some unearthly reason, Jet OC Brian Schotthimselfintheheader decided to pass every play when he could have just run the ball up and down the field. Sanchez repeatedly seemed to be in his last throes, tossing wildly erratic passes to no one, but the Bills D repeatedly bailed him out.
Ooops, they did it again.
Next stop, the Tennessee Tightwads in Buffalo. Good tix are still available, like 10,000 of them. But not at Busby’s where the Bison Dome will be jamming.
Make no mistake, we’re doing it again. But we know what needs to be done. So come on down to the back bar for a Trulie adult beverage and the Bills game this Sunday.