The Buffalo Bills ended their 17 year drought with a thunderstorm—a booming, completely unpredictable and insanely wild sequence of events last Sunday that sent the entire Busby’s crowd batshit crazy.
Now, granted, I was never in a mosh pit in a London shithole while Johnny Rotten screamed “Anarchy in the U.K.” to a bunch of meth-heads with safety pins through their eyeballs, but I guarantee it was far more tame than the lawlessness when Tyler Boyd caught a fourth and forever pass from ginger-god Andrew Dalton and pranced into the end zone.
Sure, your wedding day and the birth of your first child and that time you won that huge pot gambling in Vegas and that night of monkey sex you had with that chick on the… was unbelievably awesome and unforgettable… But admit it, you never jumped up and down and lost your mind and screamed unintelligible nonsense and physically assaulted the person next to you in unbridled glee like you did during and after that play.
The greatest single play in Buffalo Bills history was made by Andy Dalton of the Cincinnati Bengals.
Think about it. How Billsy is that?
I even joked to a friend just before the last Bengal drive that “I can’t believe my personal happiness is resting in the hands of Andy friggin’ Dalton.”
I love Andy Dalton!
And I would have joined the 13,000+ other Bills fans who donated about $300,000 to the Andy & Jordan Foundation if I never saw that haircut he chose for his head in the thank you videos.
Even during the Super Bowl years there wasn’t one play that changed fortunes like that one. And the game wasn’t even over at that point. There was another chance to scream like banshees and pummel thy neighbor.
The play was so great that it made Joe Keiffer, who didn’t even watch the game at Busby’s, drive there afterwards just to buy a few celebratory drinks for the friends who had stayed well after to party.
The Bills, for their part, tried to lose after building up an insurmountable lead against the Dolphins and journeyman girly-man, David “Epic” Fales, but just couldn’t do it. And Jordan Poyer’s lunging interception of an errant pass to no one was a fitting ending.
Poyer was just named NFL Defensive Back of the month, who, along with Micah Hyde, became the first two players from one team to win the award in the same season.
A nice consolation after some ingrate broke into his SUV the night after the Bills game in downtown Buffalo and stole his iPad, phone and wallet.
Must have been a wayward Raven fan.
The Bills nearly lost the game and may have lost Shady McCoy for the playoff tilt against Saint Doug and the Jaguars. McCoy, who had been breaking the ankles of would-be tacklers all season with his cutbacks nearly broke his own thanks to Ndouchebag Suh.
Between Jarhead Landry, Bozo Alonso and Suh, the Fins placed at least three players on the NFL All-Douche Team this season.
Tyrod was his Madden and maddening self, alternating between wanting to hug him and to punch him in the neck. Mike Tollbooth actually had a few nice lugs, along with something named Marcus Murphy when Shady went down and was carted off.
The play of the Bills game, of course, was a one-yard plunger by DT Kyle Williams playing FB, which proved to be the game winner. It was a tremendous idea and call by Sean McDermott, and perfect execution by the team and its most symbolic, emblematic player.
It’s impossible not to feel as good for KW as yourself to be in the playoffs after all the blood, sweat, tears and body parts he has sacrificed for the team and city.
Whatever one thinks of or what happens to Coach McD, you have to hand it to him, like he handed the ball and that gift to Kyle, for that perfect moment.
So now the Bills have escaped wandering through the desert the last forty, okay seventeen years, and will attempt to make it rain on the parade of Quitter Marone and his Jagoffs.
Jax has a solid team but can surely be beat, and surprisingly, the Bills have far more players with playoff experience than their heavily favored opponents.
The New Year’s nonsense is over. The New Era Bills are finally at the dance. So come on down to the madhouse on Santa Monica for adult beverages, Cold Blues, Hot Free Wings at the Half, and the mosh pit at the back bar.
The drought is over. Listen for the thunder. The stampeding Bills are ready to make it rain.
And when it rains it pours.
By Pete Rosen
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